Washington, D.C. Love and Responsibility Discussion Group

Friendship & Courtship for Dummies

Fr. Morrow generously met with our DC Love and Responsibility group on June 9, 2004. The most valuable idea he communicated to us was his plan for reclaiming friendship as a necessary prelude to a healthy courtship. Below is a little e-mail exchange I had with Fr. Morrow to clarify this idea of his.

Fr. Morrow describes his plan in his excellent book Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World (published by Our Sunday Visitor). He has been kind enough to excerpt the salient parts in this selection.

Date: Fri, 9 Jul 2004 18:26:38 -0700 (PDT)
From:"John Keck" <jwkeck15@yahoo.com>
Subject: Question
To:"Fr. Morrow" <frmorrow@mindspring.com>

Dear Fr. Morrow,

I've been re-reading the part of your book on friendship dating.  I'm a little thick sometimes (particularly about relationships), and I want to be sure I have the ideas down right.  It seems to me that you are talking about two or three "levels" of formality and exclusiveness prior to courtship:
 
1. Simple friendship - a casual relationship as you would have with anyone of either sex
2. Friendship dating - a bit more formal, non-exclusive relationship, in which the couple talk on the phone a couple times a week and see each other once a week
3. Exclusive friendship - an exclusive relationship in which the couple meet twice a week and speak on the phone often
 
The second two are optional--what is important is that there is some sort of "non-clingy" friendship period before embarking on courtship.
 
Am I correct about what you are saying?  The reason I ask is that I have been confusing simple friendship with a more formal arrangement (which kinda defeats the purpose).
 
Thanks again for your great book and for the excellent discussion you led at the CIC!
 
Best regards,
 
John


From:"T G Morrow" <frmorrow@mindspring.com>
To:"John Keck" <jwkeck15@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Question
Date: Sat, 10 Jul 2004 14:10:20 -0400

Dear John,
 
Yes, that's pretty much it.
 
1. Simple friendship - a casual relationship as you would have with anyone of either sex
2. Friendship dating - a bit more formal, non-exclusive relationship, in which the couple talk on the phone a couple times a week and see each other once a week.
1 & 2 should be almost indistinguishable, except 2 is slightly more intense.
 
3. Exclusive friendship - an exclusive relationship in which the couple meet twice a week and speak on the phone often.
And no kissing for this one. Kissing starts with courtship.
 
God bless,
 
Fr. T. M.